


Tech Support

by C Square (Emiko842)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Developing Friendship, I found this in my google docs from like two years ago, Kindred The Embraced is a wild show that I will never watch more of, Multi, Pesterlog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-22 19:38:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11386995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emiko842/pseuds/C%20Square
Summary: GA: I Have Not Even Asked For Anything YetTA: and ii’d a2k what you diid two your hu2ktop thii2 tiime iiff ii actually hated my2elf that much.





	1. Chapter 1

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --

GA: Um  
GA: Hello Sollux  
TA: no.  
GA: I Have Not Even Asked For Anything Yet  
TA: and ii’d a2k what you diid two your hu2ktop thii2 tiime iiff ii actually hated my2elf that much.  
GA: Goddamnit   
GA: Dot Dot Dot  
GA: I Could Do Something In Return For The Help  
GA: I Could Make You New Clothing  
GA: Or Other Various Sewing Related Things If You Insist On Holding On To The Sad Vestiges Of Grubsauce Stained T Shirts And Jeans  
TA: wow, fuck you.  
GA: I Could Pay You  
TA: oh my god.  
TA: ju2t tell me what you diid.  
GA: Well  
GA: To Start  
GA: Whenever I Try To Use A Search Engine An Extra Tab Will Come Up  
GA: The Mystery Tab Will Contain Various Advertisements  
GA: Including For   
GA: Um  
TA: eheheheh, porn.  
GA: Yes  
GA: It Tried To Sell Me An Underage Rustblood Matesprit The Other Day  
GA: Actually Would There Be Any Way Alert The Authorities To That  
GA: Im Sure It Cant Be Legal  
TA: great.  
TA: yeah ii have no clue a2k TZ, 2he’2 the one all over the law2 bulge.  
TA: you have 2ome 2ort of viiru2.  
TA: have you been goiing on any weiird web2iite2 or triied two download anythiing recently.  
GA: Um  
GA: I Did Click The Download Button For  
GA: The First Episode Of  
GA: A Show  
GA: The File That Downloaded Did Not Actually Do Anything When Clicked  
TA: what 2how.  
TA: knowiing that could help narrow down what 2ub2et of viiru2 iit ii2.  
GA: What Really  
GA: Damn  
GA: It Was  
GA: In Which A Hotheaded Legislacerator Goes To A Rooftop With His Partner And Finds A Strange Body That Has Been Staked Through The Bloodpusher With A Cross He And The Partner Then Go To See A Completely Insane Medicutner And Talk To Him For A Bit   
GA: The Scene Then Transitions To Some Rainbowdrinkers Who Talk About Their Dead Brethren   
GA: Now For The Important Bit   
GA: The Hotheaded Cop Goes On A Flush Date With A Beautiful Woman Who After Having To Endure The Pickup Line   
GA: Quote Ive Never Been Out With A Cop Before Do You Have A Gun End Quote  
GA: Quote Yeah Its In My Pants End Quote   
GA: Is Quickly And Sloppily Revealed To Be A Rainbowdrinker The Hotheaded Legislacerator Doesnt Notice This Even When She Goes To The Bathroom To Make Out With Slash Feed On A Young Female Spoer Addict   
GA: Includes   
GA: The Beautiful Lady Rainbowdrinker Turning Into A Wolf   
GA: Drama   
GA: Completely Ineffectual Screaming Of A Trolls Hatchname As She Burns To Death   
GA: The Legislacerators Partner That Has So Far Appeared In Two Scenes Turning Out To Be Working For An Evil Rainbowdrinker Clan   
GA: A War Of Good And Evil In The Rainbowdrinker Leaders Cold Dead Bloodpusher   
GA: Lots Of Rainbowdrinker Clans   
GA: Lots Of Black Flirting Between The Rainbowdrinker Ladies Two Flushed Prospects  
GA: And One Instance Of The Rainbowdrinker Leader Crying Tears Of Blood   
GA: Or Quote Troll Kindred The Embraced End Quote   
GA: If You Want The Short Title   
TA: oh my GOD.   
TA: ii’m goiing two 2ell that iinformatiion two the hiighe2t biidder.  
GA: You Are Terrible  
TA: you love me anyway.  
TA: but yeah ii need two 2end you 2ome antiiviiru2 2oftware 2oon.  
TA: ii’d 2ay cliick 2tart/control panel/program2/uniin2tall a program, and then go through that for anythiing that look2 weiird.   
TA: but ii hone2tly don’t tru2t you not two delete 2omething iimportant and me22 up your poor hu2ktop even more.   
GA: Where Is Start Again  
TA: KN.  
TA: ii love you.   
TA: never change.   
TA: but god fuckiing damniit. 

\---


	2. Chapter 2

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

TA: hey.  
TA: ok, great.  
TA: complementary greetiing out of the way.  
TA: ii know how two fiix iit.  
GA: I Am Going To Make A Question Noodle To Express My Confusion Over What You Know How To Fix   
GA: ?   
TA: eheheh.  
TA: your computer dumba22.  
TA: oh 2hiit ii forgot two a2k.  
TA: diid the antiiviiru2 work?  
GA: Yes   
GA: Thank You I No Longer Have To Exit Porn With Every Search  
TA: awe2ome.  
TA: ii am awe2ome.  
TA: but that’2 ju2t a temporary fiix.   
TA: what you really need ii2 a   
TA: 2hiit ii’m forgetting.  
GA: Um  
TA: AII!   
TA: fuck ye2.  
TA: you need an AII that can moniitor you and can tell you iif you’re about two do 2omethiing 2tupiid.   
TA: and then iif 2omethiing doe2 go wrong iit can liike.  
TA: me22age me or 2omethiing ii don’t know.  
TA: now ii ju2t have two fiigure out how two code an AII.   
GA: Um  
GA: That Sounds Great Sollux   
TA: fuck YE2.  
TA: ii rule you drool.   
GA: But Im Sure The AI Would End Up Much Smarter And More Reminiscent Of Its Creator If You Got Some Sleep Before Taking On This Project   
TA: . . . . . . . . . . . . .   
GA: “. . .”  
TA: KN you really 2uck at beiing triicky.  
GA: I Know   
GA: It Is My Only Flaw  
TA: eheheh.  
TA: that and beiing technology iilliiterate.   
GA: That Is Not A Flaw It Is A Work In Progress   
TA: you have known me for 2weep2 and you 2tiill have two a2k how two fiind the control panel.   
GA: Yes But I Remember Where Start It   
GA: That Is Progress  
TA: ii don’t even know what two 2ay two that.   
TA: thii2 ii2 giiviing me a miigraiine.  
TA: FUCK.  
GA: Sollux  
GA: If You Do Not Try To Sleep For A Bit I Will Not Hesitate To Tell On You  
TA: who would you even tell.  
TA: AA doe2n't care at thii2 poiint.   
GA: Oh  
GA: I Was Actually Referring To Feferi   
GA: I Know Aradia Has Been   
GA: Um  
GA: Sorry   
TA: iit’2 fiine.   
TA: FF cannot keep me down.   
GA: I Already Messaged Her When I Realized That This Was One Of Those Conversations   
TA: “tho2e” conver2atiion2.  
TA: what the fuck that 2uppo2ed two mean.  
GA: Are You Really Asking A Legitimate Question Or Simply Trying To Be Difficult  
GA: I Am Talking About The Conversations That Tend To Lead To You Trolling Equius Of All People To Ask Him To Replace Part Of My Brain With A Robotic Instalment That Is At Least Somewhat Husktop Competent  
GA: He Has Actually Trolled Me Asking If The Rude Lowblood Was Relaying A Request From Me  
GA: That Was So Awkward  
TA: oh 2hiit FF'2 trolliing me  
TA: talk two you later

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] is now an idle troll! --

GA: Wait No   
GA: Come Back Here And Apologize For Setting Equius On Me That One Time   
GA: Goddamnit


	3. Chapter 3

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]--

TA: ii am 2o 2orry for whatever ii diid la2t day.   
TA: ii 2hould probably read the log but ii don't want to.   
GA: Oh Hello   
GA: Its Actually Been Two Days So Hopefully You Have Been Asleep For A While   
GA: And There Is No Need To Apologize You Didnt Even Insult My Lusus   
TA: oh   
TA: cool.   
TA: ii’m ju2t gonna tell KK not to run that fiile and explode hii2 computer agaiin. 

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] stopped trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]--

\---

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --

GA: How Tall Are You   
TA: hello KN, niice to hear from you.    
TA: alway2 enjoy our deep and meaniingful conver2atiion2   
TA: ii've been fiine thank2 for a2kiing.    
GA: Height And Weight Please   
GA: Do You Have Some Sort Of Flexible Measuring Device   
TA: why.   
GA: I Need Your Measurements   
GA: What Other Reason Would There Be For This Request   
GA: Maybe I Should Have Had Feferi Ask   
TA: 2hiit   
TA: ok, but only becau2e ii liike you.   
TA: one 2ec   
TA: ok   
TA: 6 2 for heiight.   
TA: 120 for weiight, and ii had to borrow my neiighbor'2 2cale, are we done now.   
GA: Thats Terrible   
GA: Do You Just Have A Really Fast Metabolism Or Is This Some Of What Karkats Worried Yelling Has Been About   
TA: what   
TA: what'2 wrong wiith that   
TA: KK yell2 about me?   
TA: heh jokiing, ii'm not actually 2urprii2ed.   
GA: In Retrospect That Was Probably Rude    
GA: Sorry   
TA: uh   
TA: iit2 fiine, ii gue22.   
TA: do you need anythiing el2e   
TA: talk fa2t whiile ii'm 2tiill feeliing magnaniimou2.   
GA: Shoutpoll    
GA: Ok I Will List Them   
GA: Sholder With   
GA: Torso Length   
GA: Chest Curcumfrus And Bust If You Have One   
GA: Waist Circumference   
GA: Arm Length   
GA: Hips Circumference   
GA: Inseam   
GA: I Can Estimate Most Of The Rest   
TA: what'2 an iin2eam?

\---


	4. Chapter 4

\--- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

TA: WHAT THE 2HIIT KN   
GA: What   
GA: Has Something Happened   
GA: I Dont Think Ive Done Anything   
GA: Is Vriska Trying To Blow Someone Up   
GA: I Swear Its Not My Fault    
GA: We Broke Up Sweeps Ago   
TA: WHY.   
GA: Why Did I Break Up With Vriska   
GA: Really   
TA: no   
TA: 2hiit   
TA: KN thii2 ii2 way two much.   
GA: What   
GA: Oh   
GA: Shoutpoll    
GA: Sollux Its Fine Ive Been Wanting To Redo Your Wardrobe For A While Now   
GA: Im Sorry If They Don't Fit Quite Right Its Harder Judge Off Just Measurements   
GA: Um   
GA: Are You Still There

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] is now an idle troll! --

GA: Ok Then   
TA: ugg   
TA: ok, ii found the “bee happy” t-2hiirt.   
TA: whiich 2omehow make2 thii2 better becau2e now ii know that you got 2iick plea2ure iin 2endiing the2e.   
TA: why diid you do thii2 agaiin.   
TA: hell, how diid you get my addre22.    
GA: Karkat   
GA: And   
GA: Other Than A General Horror About What I Hear Youve Done To Your Cloths And A Vague Hope That These Might At Least Last A Little Longer   
GA: You Have Fixed My Computer So Many Times   
GA: I Was Board   
GA: I Dont Know It Just Seemed Like A Thing To Do   
GA: You Do Know That I Send Clothes To A Lot Of My Friends   
TA: uh, yeah, ii thiink ii remember AA mentiioniing that, 2he wa2 goiing two a2k you for a commii22iion or 2omethiing.   
TA: ii ju2t kiind of fiigured   
TA: liike.   
TA: a riidiiculou2 lookiing flarp outfiit.   
TA: ii'll actually wear mo2t of thii2 2hiit.    
GA: Im Really Never Going To Live Eridans Ridiculous Clothing Requests Down Am I   
GA: Ill Have You Know That I Only Sunk That Low After He Payed Me Royally For It    
TA: ii’d agree that you’re beiing typeca2t but haven’t you made wiiggler co2tume2 for liike, every riidiiculou2 nerd we know.   
GA: You Are Not Wrong But You Have To Agree That Eridans Are The Absolute Worst Of The Bunch    
GA: Even With Terezis Whole Red And Teal Theme    
TA: oh defiiniitely, he look2 liike a hiip2ter had a horriible acciident wiith a 2nooty kiing grape.    
GA: That Is It Exactly Oh My Gosh    
TA: eheheheheh.   
GA: Anyway Let Me Know If Anything Does Not Fit Right   
GA: I Can Adjust My Measurements    
TA: KN the2e fiit better than anythiing ii own. you ba2iically 2aved me my clothiing budget for the next two 2weep2 or 2o.    
GA: Oh God Two Sweeps   
TA: what?   
GA: I Just Realized That When We Molt None Of Us Will Have Clothing That Fits    
GA: Which Isnt A Problem For Me Because Im Stuck In The Middle Of A Dessert And Honestly Im The Only One Who Cares If Im Not Wearing Cloths    
GA: But You Will Just Have To Like    
GA: Wear A Blanket And Wait For Conscription    
GA: Order Pizza Online   
GA: Quote Sorry Im Not Opening The Door All Of The Way I Molted And Now I Have No Pants End Quote   
GA: Your Skinny Jeans Dont Stretch Very Much    
TA: …   
TA: are you haviing 2ome 2ort of clothiing related breakdown   
GA: Maybe    
TA: that ii2 2uch a weiird thiing two have a breakdown about when iit come2 two the iimpendiing doom of con2criiptiion, ii mean    
TA: aren't mo2t of u2 goiing two be culled??    
GA: Quite Possibly    
GA: But Think About Karkat Screaming Alone And Naked In His House    
GA: Cutting Holes In A Pillowcase To Wear And Going To Buy Clothes Like Some Sort Of Angry Goblin    
TA: that’2 the be2t thiing ii’ve ever thought about iin my liife, thank2 KN.    
TA: when iit happen2 two me ii think ii’ll go the 2warm of bee2 rout.    
TA: ii’m 2orry iif you wanted a gliimp2e at thii2 bulge but iit’2 liiterally ju2t bee2 now.    
GA: How Will You Convince Them To Stay On Your Bulge    
TA: maybe they’re ju2t naturally attracted.   
GA: Well At Least Something Is   
TA: and out of left fiield iit’2 KN wiith 2ome 2iick burn2.   
TA: have ii ever told you that 2ometiime2 you ju2t bliind2iide me wiith that 2hiit    
TA: iit’2 kiind of iimpre22iive two be hone2t.    
GA: Thank You    
GA: I Think   
GA: I Wonder If I Will Ever Get The Image Of You With A Crotch Full Of Bees And Karkat Hiking Up A Pillowcase And Yelling Out Of My Head Now    
TA: ii don’t thiink iit’d even affect TZ, 2he’2 ju2t, run cackliing through the wood.    
GA: Equius Will Sweat And Moan About How Lude It Is    
GA: At Least He Has About Three Million Towels To Cover Up With    
TA: nepeta won’t care 2he already thiink2 2he’2 a purrbea2t    
TA: 2he can liike, wear pelt2.   
GA: Eridan Will Be So Upset    
TA: and doe2n't he liike, molt later than mo2t of u2.    
TA: he 2how2 up two con2criiptiion with a cape and a bottle of haiir dye ‘2orry ii couldn’t get pant2 made iin tiime’   
TA: they wouldn’t even need two cull me, ii’d ju2t laugh my2elf two death.    
GA: I Am Laughing    
TA: thii2 i2 a weiird fuckiing conver2atiion.    
GA: Admittedly Better Than Thinking About The Grimmer Aspects Of Conscription Though    
TA: you know, when you’re riight you’re riight. 

\---


End file.
